My view on Stingy men and payment of dowry.

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I wrote this after Valentines day.
Last week my friend had posted a picture of him with the caption, “End of the men’s conference” (which is imaginary) and I was eager know the kind of discussion that went on in his head and the final conclusion. If there were men who posted of attending the men’s conference and them being part of the stingy men’s association (you’re not stingy you are BROKE) this is what you need to know about them. This are sad men, low life’s, dimwits who have been rejected several times, have esteem issues, have no physical charm and get ahead of themselves ( Dude just be humble, you are very plain) and have 1000 issues going on in their lives and that is why they cannot celebrate love and make fun of the real men who do. Just look closely ladies. Real MEN were posting “it has not happened this year but I’m hopeful in 2022 it will” and they were truly positive while others went low-key and this breed was all over social media throwing shade.


My friend went ahead to brief me the nonsense that he had made up in his mind and I truly understood why he was a single man. Let me summarize it:
•Hakuna kutuma fare (No sending fare)
•Hakuna kuingia jikoni unless girlfriend unampeleka bedroom ( no man should get into the kitchen unless he is later taking her to the bedroom)
•Hakuna kulipa dowry kabla hajapata ball (No paying the dowry before the lady gets pregnant)

First of all I don’t know where ladies garner the courage of asking for fare to go meet up with a guy for my pride cannot allow me to and if he sends voluntarily I will just send it back and tell him to stop disrespecting me. Have you heard that I cannot afford transport cost to come meet you? (My bank is wanting by the way). The agenda behind sending the fare is in question and I expect clarification of the fact that you do not expect anything in return, well I don’t expect clarification for I meet only in public. Any guy who sends fare is stupid. In my view if someone is not willing to incur costs to come see you then you are just an empty debe/drum (Nothing good can come from you) who can’t attract any woman genuinely and you have to use money to get to them. Don’t you realize you have a problem? In conclusion probably this women ask for fare because they are going to give services and they are in a give and take situation. Well I have never asked for fare and I don’t think I will unless I’m travelling miles away. I have never been sent fare to go meet a man but I have been given fare to take me back home which I have openly received.


The 2nd one was very insensitive and I will not write about it today and I’m unsure if I’ll be call him my friend again after he made such a unpleasant comment about a woman. I totally agree with his first point though.


Beware of men calling you through the bedroom window. A well intentioned suitor will come through the front door and engage the family patriarch to discuss the dowry


I went ahead to tell the guy that no man should access the chambers unless he has paid the dowry, put a ring on it or heavily invested to a point you can’t look back.( But sis you owe him nothing, the only thing you do is his money furthermore you never asked him to invest). My friend went ahead to state that we are in the 21st century so I should stop reasoning as though I’m in the 18th century and that young men do not have enough wealth to pay the bride price and what’s important is to know the girls family. (I will not allow the western culture to erase my African Heritage beliefs and I’m okay with being labelled that).


He went ahead to say that along the way that’s when he would pay the dowry. I find this to be very shameless of him to say considering the fact that this woman is leaving her home to go and become his wife “a man’s upper servant” yet even the smallest gesture of appreciation to the family he is unwilling to do it. If you can’t afford to do such a thing that means you are incapable of taking care of your family.


I saw where he was coming from but there is a danger to it for I don’t like roads that begin at the corner. There is no price tag that can be befitting to someone’s existence so just an appreciation is a good kick start. Before a man walks into a woman’s life he should have: God, Job, savings account, checking account and a home for he needs these things to provide for his family if he is talking about marriage. Don’t get pregnant for a man who is incapable of showing appreciation.

The payment of bride wealth by the groom’s family seals an allegiance between unrelated families and they become one and the last act is that the two love birds take blessings from the parents with them.


Men should take the right route just like this men in the bible.
Read 1st Samuel 18:23 – when Saul’s men said these things to David, he replied, “how can a poor man from a humble background family afford the bride price for the daughter of a king. 24. When Saul’s men reported this back to the king, 25. He told them, “tell David that all I want for the bride price is 100 philistines’ foreskins….then David fulfilled the king’s requirement by presenting all their foreskins to him. So Saul gave Michal to David as his wife.
Genesis 29. Jacob was willing to work for 7 years in order for him to marry Racheal. Jacob’s dowry was not a material possession for he had none to offer instead he agreed to work for 7 years for Laban. The most important goals and desires are worth working for.
Genesis 24- the story of Isaac and Rebecca.
Let me stop it at here.

All the men who took part in the men’s conference nonsense all come from the same stupid school of thoughts and the stingy men association it’s my prayer that the day comes sooner and you will no longer be broke.

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