Yester night I was having a conversation with my close friend on how the dating scene no longer fascinates me and slowly by slowly I have been losing its luster and instead finding joy in embracing singlehood. I have dated some guys but I’ve never had a relationship with either but I don’t have regrets for I’ve bagged lessons which I’ve carried forward.
Dating- derived from the idea ‘set a date’ where two people agree to get together at a certain place and time for recreation and fellowship.
There is this illusion that has been designed by movie makers and book sellers about dating which I have come to realize it’s unrealistic for it does not exist in reality. I have come to realize it’s very difficult to find the perfect partner for it requires effort and real love is not something that one falls into but it’s something that has to be molded in order to blossom like a flower.
I dislike the dating scene because nowadays people have become so fake by camouflaging their real selves and selling a different narrative about who they really are in order to be acceptable to the other party. I am not a saint for I’m guilty about this and I tried so hard to sell something I was not but it got to that point I gave it up for it was tiring. (I lied how I loved night parties and the guy kept on inviting me but I finally came clean. This is a small lie but there are huge ones that are insane). Lying has become so common that it becomes so difficult to know what kind of a person you are really dealing with. There are people who are evil but they paint themselves to be good and it is really scaring for I have seen people fall into the hands of abusers and murderers yet there were no signs from the start.
When in the dating scene, there are guys who have felt entitled to my time and whenever I am unavailable physically or via text or call, they start being angry for no reason yet there is no contract that I’ve signed I have to be available whenever needed. I really dislike when a guy is on my neck all the time and they do not give me an opportunity to catch a breather or even be the one who is also reaching out. This really suffocates me especially when my feelings are different to theirs or there isn’t a connection.
There are some people who want the microwave speed in the dating scene and they are in for the pleasure but not to get a life-time connection. They always want to take the short route and play foul that is only by getting physical they can achieve a connection which is a lie. I am a firm believer of taking things slow by slow for I believe there is a richness in true friendship.
In dating one tends to overshare their business which is something I’m tired of doing. I have once gotten to that point where I’ve become comfortable plus relaxed in the presence of the son of Adam and I have shared information that has always been under the rocks. Only for us to end up going separate ways and him departing with my secrets that I overshared for I thought probably he would be in here for the long haul. I wish I could find him and take back the things that I shared for probably now its gossip going round. Last week I met this gentleman whom we exchanged numbers only for him to ask me, to tell him WHO I am a.k.a describe myself. I kindly told him, he should figure that out by himself. I am tired of being in this interviews and I have no energy to share what my life entails about yet the organization cannot meet my demands.
Dating can distract someone from focusing on themselves and end up being consumed by the needs of the other party. I have been here before where I shifted my focus from the important things for I was easily distracted by this son of Adam.
This are some of the reasons but the REAL one is that, I am in the process on self-development and building my relationship with God. Or probably I am tired of meeting guys whom we don’t have a connection at all and I’ve taken it as a sign to put away dating for the time being.
The second lock down is here