Why do women stay even after being cheated on?

There isn’t a week that goes by without coming across cheating scandals in all the social media platforms and it has already been normalized to a point it no longer gets us by surprise or even leave our mouths hanging in the air. We are in the period where “mtaachana tu” (you’ll eventually part ways) is a fashionable slogan especially after this couples whom we term as “goals” end up going separate ways driving that point home. Cheating has become a common denominator in the end of so many love stories and I think it’s the death that is always being referred to when stating the vows. “Till death (cheating) do us part?” To most women it still remains death because despite being cheated on, they still opt to stay while most men pack their bags and leave. After this scandals surface the media and get talked about for an entire week, we find that afterwards the woman is still posting pictures trying to prove that things are okay and the only thing that can come in between them is death and not some thirsty ”shawties”.

Studies have been done that indicate men are more likely to cheat in relationships than women but also women are nowadays engaging in sex outside their relationships than previously thought. Women also cheat nowadays just as men do but unlike men they are less likely to be caught in the act but we must admit it is so common in men. Most of this scandals a high percentage are men cheating on their wives plus girlfriends and nowadays they don’t care hide it anymore because it has become culturally acceptable.

As I have said above it has been normalized for you can’t scroll through the comment sections in this media platforms without coming across this punch lines. “Men cheat, accept it.” “Men will always be men, it’s a man’s nature to cheat for they are polygamous by nature”. “If you still think your man is a one woman man, then you are a fool.” “You will have to share your man whether you like it or not.” “If the queen herself Beyoncé was cheated on, who are you not to?” “Men are expected to cheat so deal with it.” When a man cheats it’s not a big deal but when a woman does, its thunder.

I totally disagree with this assumptions for it does not speak for all men and I think that it is possible to be in a non-cheating relationship (Did I say that) and we should stop holding men in a low standard and selling nonsense to the women out there, that all men cheat which it totally unfair. It is possible but it might take time to meet such a breed.

One of the questions that I have been asking myself, why would anyone choose to go back to a man who totally disrespected them in front of the whole world? The humiliation becomes so deep for you to remain unseen and you are baptized a new name “the lady who was cheated on” yet you choose to remain with this scumbag. According to research, once a man decides to have a sexual escapade, it becomes difficult to break the cycle and that is why a cheater once will always be a cheater. I am not in any position to have an opinion for I do not know what goes in through the mind of a woman for her to choose to stay despite the fact that it’s clear she is not valued. (People who have never been to the kitchen to watch over boiling water busy having an opinion over what this women should do. I AM PEOPLE). Let’s proceed, never let a man show you more than once, who he is. Cheating is a decision we all make. We are justifying and also enabling their behavior that we make it seem its right its okay for them to disrespect us when we take them back. I am that woman who will jump of the ship because I choose to have my peace of mind first.

Well, some choose to stay for financial stability, some for the kids while some believe they can actually work and it can become a memory of the past which is still okay and the last breed stays in order to plan carefully about their exit. Coming from many women who’ve been in this situation, they’ve disclosed that the relationship never goes back to the way it used to be and they end up leaving. Why choose to stay and put your mental well-being last. No words can describe the sadness that engulfs me whenever I come across this comments that brainwash a woman should stay in a loveless relationship where she is being disrespected because a man is expected to cheat.

The only way you are not going to get cheated on again is when you are not with him. It’s only a woman who does not value or appreciate herself who will stay with a cheater. It’s time we stop telling the daughters of Eve that there is a chance to work things yet the man has already shown them that they don’t want them. What other sign do you need? Spare yourself more heartache. It’s time to tell a woman to pack her bags and leave even though she doesn’t, even though it will be painful, she has to put herself first. Cheating is not a mistake, it’s a choice and some cheaters keep making the same choices.

I know being cheated on is not something that any woman in love tends to wish for and most of the time, no woman sees it coming but if he does it, that enough to let you know, he is not into you anymore.

I refuse to accept that men are wired to cheat. Faithfulness is a requirement in a relationship and if you are unwilling to uphold it, then you should not be in a relationship anyway. Leave as early as you can for infidelity had numerous negative repercussions. May the spirit of faithfulness guard us all!

We see faults, gaps, red flags but we stay- for what! Love? What happened to the phrase, Love does not hurt. Why do women stay? Would you stay?

A man would not tolerate a cheating partner. My friend Manga, has just told me that, right now 😀. Hello ✋

7 Comments Add yours

  1. Claudia D says:

    I’ve always asked myself the same question as well “why do women stay after all that”, and sometimes is not only after cheating but also when they are abused cause if it were a man he would leave. What I’ve picked up is that women are afraid of being alone in such a way that they are terrified that they might not get someone to love them but then again if that certain someone loved them they wouldn’t have been cheated on which is wise to always look at and pay attention to the signs that a man shows you cause they will tell you the kind of man he is and allow you to get out before it’s too late; if he is toxic same applies to women.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Leah says:

      I agree with everything you’ve said and its so sad that women get to that point where they believe they cannot find love again yet its a lie. They should always want what’s better for themselves and I think this is where the aspect of self-love applies. I believe if a man truly loves you there are things that he wouldn’t do.
      Thanks for reading 💓and taking time to comment. I appreciate.


  2. Wairimu Maina says:

    I WOULDN’T STAY! and that’s on periodt!
    I fail to understand why they cheat. However, it’s not for us to judge from the outside, looking in.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Leah says:

      You capitalized it girl 🙌😀
      True, if one has never been in that position, there is no way we’d understand why they make those decisions.


  3. I’ve been cheated on and stayed. It’s because I wanted to believe it wouldn’t happen again (as he tearfully pleaded with me), but of course it always did. I think with me it was because I lacked confidence as well. I got to the point where I felt like I was wasting my life on him and so I left.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Leah says:

      I know how easy it is to buy such an apology especially when its accompanied by emotions which are fake (too bad we rarely notice which isn’t our fault). The best apology is the one accompanied by changed behaviour. I’m sorry you had to go through that and I’m glad you decided to leave 🌼

      Thanks for reading and taking time to comment.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. justcalmwildness says:

    I think women stay because they have been socialised and internalised that when a man cheats it is their fault

    Liked by 1 person

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