*Boy meets girl
*Boy and girl assess one another’s mate value from perspectives based upon their different reproductive agendas/capacities
• He looks for signs of youth, fertility, health, absence of previous sexual experience and likelihood of future sexual fidelity. In other words his assessment is skewed toward finding a fertile, healthy young mate with many childbearing years ahead and no current children to drain resources.
• She looks for signs of wealth (or at least prospects of future wealth), social status, physical health and likelihood that he will stick around to protect and provide for their children. Her guy must be willing and able to provide materially for her (especially during breast feeding and pregnancy) and their children. (My emphasis is here).
There is this book that I have been reading and according to research that they have done over several decades on matters revolving around human sexuality and above is a standard narrative of what takes place. As the writer states, we all have preferences as to what we look for in a future spouse and above is an illustration.
Recently there has been an uproar in the social media platforms because of women voicing and proving in action that they prefer being in relationships with men of a higher social status. This women have been bashed, trashed and called sorts of names such as ‘gold-digger’, ‘mannerless’ all because of having a preference which everyone is entitled to and has a freedom to seek after it. I think it’s time it stops being news when a woman opts to go for a wealthy man instead of a financially crippled man. If that is what makes her happy then let her do it.
Women have been peddled on the lie that a woman is honorable if she opts to settle with a struggling man and grow with him till he gets to the financial peak. A lie has been sold that REAL LOVE is one that starts from the bottom where the man has no penny, then the woman sets in to support him, becomes his ride/ die in his financial crisis and be patient till he becomes a KING aka wealthy. I have seen women opt to build with a man from nothing only for him to get to a certain level financially then rub it on the woman’s face that he now got options and infidelity sets in. I have met men who keep on singing that they are looking for a woman who they will begin with from scratch (the entitlement makes me cringe) yet they have nothing going on in their lives but expect you to tag along. Women should stop dealing with men like this sincerely and should do the USAIN BOLT run if you come across one who makes such statements. Starting from five feet deep with a man to get to the ground and above, it’s no guarantee that he will never leave you (yet you were wasting your youthful years trying to build him) or that your marriage will be a happily ever after.
STRUGGLE LOVE AIN’T FOR EVERYONE. There is nothing wrong with a woman who chooses not to ‘struggle’ with someone.
I came across this quote and I will embark on a journey of doing research, “if you take a man at his worst, you’re going to get the worst from him in the end.” Anyone who has watched ‘Acrimony’? I refuse to build UP with a person only for them to match with someone else. It’s not your duty to grow a man, go plant a tree sis then grow with it.
If having a man with a stable income is one of the qualities you want, please express your preference with no shame just like the way this men prefer ladies with a specific skin complexion (iykyk), a certain body shape and whether she is wife material yet do not feel ashamed announcing it. To the ladies bashing fellow ladies, if you don’t care about a man financial ability instead prefer to build with him, that is also good and that’s your choice, so I don’t understand why you are bitter and full of anger.
There are myths that go around and people assume that just because a woman chooses to go after an established man financially, she is incapable of making money herself plus she is lazy and has nothing going on in her life which is indeed very false. Some of this women are doing very well in the career, business world but they want to feel that they are being looked out after. There are also women who are looking for a financially established gentleman because they are looking out for their future plus that of their kids and there is nothing wrong with that. There is also another myth that this women who go for established men in their relationships are loveless which is very false. I think this is where love overflows.
If having a man who is financially stable is in your checklist be proud of it and know that there is no shame in wanting a man who will always show up for you financially. But always remember to work hard in whatever you are doing and ensure you have flow of money in case you want marriage plus bringing something of use to the table because high value attracts high value. High value doesn’t rub well low value.
Don’t go to married men ladies, leave them.